Sunday, December 13, 2009

high standards low expectations


so what am i hanging onto and why? i mean what information do i have that tells me this could ever possibly happen. haven't i felt like this before? is it the same? and where is this jealousy piece coming from? admittedly i could be happier with my current life circumstances, but i really don't want anyone else's life. i do, however, want some greater purpose and happiness, cause this is all some bullshit.
anyhow, what would my research questions be if i actually venture on this doomed excursion:
  • can this man be open, loving, and supportive to me in the ways that i want, need, and best respond to?
  • am i running after some fleeting, or rather fleeted, romance...or am i simply re-activating it?
  • am I just grasping at the most recent love of my life and simply tired and scared of the wait for the next one?
  • has this man grown over the past few months and is he capable of being open to any of this?
  • am i an idiot?

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